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Gather information: Now it’s their turn to talk. This is not a time for action, just listen with real empathy and without interruptions or becoming defensive. Then use open and unemotional language to ask clarifying questions. You are trying to see the world from their perspective. The useful attitude here is one of curiosity as to how the other person perceives the situation and your behaviours. At this time you’re trying to understand the other person’s point of view. You do not have to agree with it.
What are the needs? State clearly your need for the situation to be resolved and ask about their needs.
Problem solve: Only when the parties have clearly explained their thinking and perceptions, is it time to problem solve.
a) Agree on what the actual problem is. This may lead to a resolution straight away! Where do each of you stand on the issue? State this clearly, reframing your words. Define the problem in terms of conflicting needs, not conflicting solutions. Clearly state the intention of agreeing to a mutually satisfactory solution.
b) Search for as many mutually acceptable solutions as possible. Be creative with generating solutions, because this expands the chance of a good outcome for both parties. Your priority is to help the other party achieve their desired solution, on your terms.
c) Evaluate the solutions carefully: are there hidden downsides, or unintended consequences? Check if each solution is fair. Is there a win-win?
d) Decide together on the solution. Choose the one most acceptable to both parties to get shared commitment to the result. If the solution is forced on the employee or customer it may be sabotaged, or not carried out at all.
e) Plan together how to implement the solution. Write it down. Everyone involved gets a copy.
Monitor success: After an agreed time, evaluate implementation and results. If all this sounds onerous, compare it to the devastating impact on your business to lose employees and customers because they found it too hard to talk with you.
When you master the skill of having difficult conversations you find the steps blur and the conversations flow.
Many people start a business because they have a great idea or are good at delivering a product. Only later in the game do they gain the much-needed people skills to run the business successfully, and the ability to master difficult conversations is near the top of the list of these people skills.
- Liz Cassidy is founder of Third Sigma International (www.thirdsigma.com.au) and an executive coach, speaker and trainer.
Creative solutions to problem situations
When you are working with a customer or employee to come up with a solution, be creative! The more potential solutions, the easier it will be to solve the problem so that both parties are satisfied.
- Create a climate of new possibilities with new ideas, people, attitudes, situations and conversations.
- Brainstorm as many ideas as you can.
- Generate a creative climate by asking the question “What if?”.
- Expand your possibilities by identifying additional sources of resources such as money, people and time.
- Look for values which bring your interests together on a higher level.
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first i would like to thank this is very informtive for me to tell me about efffective communication.
interested in career advancement and prosperity
interesed to advance into competitive ventures so as to enhance my effectiveness
thanks